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Standing outside Logan’s apartment, Ororo leaned in to rest her head against the front door. Having knocked twice, and getting no answer had made her think that maybe he wasn’t there. She already knew about Laura and Jubilee’s plans, having met the girls at the mansion. They had told her that they would be staying over for the weekend, meaning he would be alone for that time duration.

Finally gathering her courage, she had slipped out under the cover of the night and ridden her winds to roof of this building, using the stairs for the rest to come to this place. Ready to give up and thinking that she should have checked for his Harley first, she reached up and knocked for one last time. Maybe he was asleep; she consoled herself, knowing that even if that was the case, his senses would have alerted him already.

“Logan,” she whispered against the door, only to recoil the next instant as a familiar sound reached her ears, the sound of metal scraping against metal and locking into position.

-SNIKT-

He was in there.

----

“Logan,” just hearing her voice was too much, his claws sliding out on their own according, the pain at the metal slicing through muscle and skin nothing compared to the pain Logan felt in his heart.

Why was she here? To rub his face in the proverbial dirt? Even through the wooden partition, he could smell the other man’s scent on her, not a sexual one, but still too close for any sort of respite or comfort.

He had stepped away from the door, hoping that she would give up and leave on her accord. ‘Insteada runnin’ away like the last time,’ a masochistic voice chuckled from inside him. He had made the choice this time….almost. Then she spoke, her honey smooth, naturally husky voice assaulting and instantly taking over his senses. The way she called his name now, the way she called his name that night, the way she called it before….and never since. It was all too much for him.

‘What d’ya want?’ He wanted to snarl at her, but couldn’t. Instead he waited, his claws sticking out from his left hand, his right one still hovering over the doorknob.

“Logan…..” the pleading call came again. “….Please.”

-SNIKT-

The click of the lock accompanied the sliding in of the claws, the twin sounds followed by the near silent swing of the door…..revealing both of them to each other.

-----

Logan forgot to breathe at the sight before him. Standing before him, her black skintight dress sticking to and accentuating her every curve was the woman, the goddess who had haunted his sleeping nights and waking days. Her silvery locks, damp from the moisture in the air clung to her face, back and shoulders, melting snowflakes still adorning and adding to her ethereal glow. His eyes traveled from the ground up as he recalled how those lithe yet muscular legs had felt wrapped around him, those arms bereft of the clothing that covered them, snaked around his neck, her slender fingers tunneling into and pulling at his unruly mane, urging him on with her, against her, into her. He recalled how those full lips mumbled garbled mixtures of endearments or nibbling against his heated body or just moaning out in passion. He remembered it all….and it sent fresh spikes of raging pain through him.

They stood in silence, each regarding the other. Just as Logan studied her, so did Ororo study him. She too gave him a full body scan, her eyes still unable to meet his. She had hurt him already, deeply, and knowing her, she knew that she was going to do it again. She could smell the bitter smell of alcohol coming off him, and for a moment there, she thought that he might be inebriated. Then she remembered how long and how hard it was for him to get that way, and the three bottles she saw over his shoulder, told her that he had not reached that point….yet. Unable to form any words, she waited for him to break the silence. What she did not fail to notice was how his left hand still fisted at his side was ready and primed to swing into action against anyone…maybe even her.

------

Driven by instinct rather than thought, he started to move towards her, stopping himself at the very last instant, his raised hand stilling inches from her. He dare not touch her now, just as she not touch him…..not now, not when even from this distance a sort of pull drew them towards each other, not when he knew she had reached a decision.

Letting his hand fall away to his side, he turned around silently making his way to inside the apartment. He did not say anything to her, the open door being invitation enough. ‘Its up to you,’ were those unspoken words. ‘If you want to come in then come in. Otherwise….”

It was left to her…..stay or run….just like last time.

------

“What d’ya want?” This time he did speak out aloud, his back still turned to her. She had stepped into the room, the door closing with a click behind her.
“Logan….I…..”
“You’ve decided,” he half growled, half scoffed, his tone slightly slurred from the still lingering but fast fading effects of the alcohol he had drunk.
“….” Silence and then, “yes.”
“Hn.”

‘Atleast, she ain’t lying….yet,’ he thought to himself, his body stiffening as it sensed her hand draw near and then fall away. “So, what are ya doin’ here?”

“Logan….” Ororo did not know what to say. She hadn’t known what to expect, or maybe she had, but this, she didn’t expect this. “Its not like….”
“…not like what I think,” Logan whirled out, his eyes blazing with barely contained anger, and something else, pain, a world of pain. “Not like what it was supposed to be. Not like how things work in yer kings and goddess world.”

Stunned by his sudden and yet not completely unexpected outburst, Ororo stood silent, her hand grasped at her chest. The same hand she had almost touched him with. She stopped, just like him, because, as he knew so did she…..with them, at this moment, a single touch wouldn’t be enough, not for either of them.

“You know I used t’ think about what made Forge leave,” sapphire blue eyes shot up in surprise. “I used to blame him. After all, who would leave a person like you? I used ta pity the stupid fucker. He lost the best thing in the world. Now, now its clear who got fucked over, aint’ it, Storm.”
‘Storm,’ he called her by her codename. Not Ororo, ‘Roro or ‘Ro, but the official, unattached, unfeeling codename they used in times of battle….battle, was that what it was for him now?
“I think he got out in time,” Logan chuckled humorlessly. “Although not before you got a chance to fuck him over too. You had not intentions of marrying him, did ya? Ya were waitin’ fer yer Prince t’ come and sweep ya off yer feet.”
Her own emotions bubbling over, Ororo barely contained herself, not because Logan was right or because he was wrong, but because she knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to make her hate him, just as he was trying to make himself hate her. He was trying to give both of them but more importantly her, an easy, but all-ending way out. He was deliberately acting the way they used to be during their initial days with the x-men….a time when they couldn’t stand each other.

This was not what she wanted. She wanted things to go the way they were before that fateful night, before they left their friendship and crossed the line into lov….into something else. She wanted to step back over that line and regain that friendship, the friendship in which she could tell him anything, just as he could tell her. The friendship in which he would be support any such decision of hers and be happy for her, with her. It was a fool’s quest, she even knew that, yet she had to try. Maybe he did not mean what he said, maybe it was a spur of the moment thing, or maybe his feelings had faded away. She had had all those thoughts, all those excuses to give her a way out.

----

“What do you want Ororo?” Logan finally sighed, all his fight suddenly leaving his body. He couldn’t stay angry with her, he couldn’t have done it in the past, and he definitely couldn’t do it now. After all it really wasn’t her fault that his luck sucked in the love department, no, especially in the love department. “What….do…you….want?”
‘You,’ that answer would have been so simple and so easy. “I-I want us to be friends,” was what finally came out.

“Friends, huh,” the way Logan repeated her answer, sent spikes of pain through both their hearts. She knew she was taking the easy way out, and he was giving her that, by cheapening the invaluable relation that tied them for years, bonded their hearts. “Sure, why not….atleast I am worth that.”
‘You are worth much more to everyone….to me.’ Ororo remained silent, watching Logan stumble away to the fallen alcohol bottle, lift it and bring it to his lips, trying to wash away his senses and memory off her.

----

He didn’t ask for any explanations, any clarifications about why she left him, why she never came back, why she didn’t come earlier, why she came now, what decision had she made, why she had made it…nothing. He took in her words, her decision at their face value, just as he had done in the past, like when he used to accept her command decisions.

‘Except this isn’t a command decision,’ a voice called out from within Ororo. She wanted him to confront her, to grab her, shake her, rattle her very being, ask her why she was doing this….maybe then it would be clear to her too. Maybe then she would be able to overcome the dichotomy that her heart, soul and mind had become.

Yet he did nothing. He had already said everything he wanted to say. He had no more words, not for this woman, this woman who was a stranger to him now. The woman he befriended, respected, loved was lost the night this stranger took control and ran away from him…from them.

----

Her head hung low, Ororo started to turn back towards the front door, only to stop mid-step and change her direction to that towards Logan.

Taking two unsure steps to span the physical distance separating them, she did something that proved to be the undoing for both of them.

She touched him.